Heyy all!!
Well first things first...wow basically three days til Africa!!!!!!!! AH! because tonight is almost over....and then tomorrow it will be three days. that is totally blowing my mind! AHHHH lol. sorry had toget that part out.
So anyways...as for my day....ummm pretty rough actually it was just wow......bad lol. there really isnt any other way to describe it. lol But then i got home and i talked to the one and only barrett and wow...it all just went away. Man i love that kid. he has this unbeliveable ability to make me smile...even after having a horrible day. its crazy...but i love it. So yes after that ...i felt soo much better..me and him worked alot out too which was great. So ya after a totally horrible day it feels good to have a night of smiles....i went shopping with my sister..we were supposed to get her shoes..but shes picky and she didnt like any of the shoes we saw so we ended up getting nothing haha. oh well it was time with my sister so i am not complaining. So yup it has beena good night overall. i am looking forward to school tomorrow....i dont know why..no reason i guess...i think i am just looking forward to not being so down all day tomorrow lol. actually laughing and having a good time....it will be nice. God has blown my mind this weekend and even today too....i listened to this song today..its called Mighty To Save. its a hillsongs song but i heard it at ATF this weekend. The lyrics for the chorus say:
Saviour, He can move the mountains,My god is mighty to save,He is mighty to save Forever author of salvation,He rose and conquered the grave Jesus conquered the grave
These words really got me today...you know..thinking about all the things in my life..that seem like mountains...that seem like i cannot and will never get past them...and then i remember there is nothing God cannot do for me, he can move all the mountains in my life.....he is mighty to save..and he saves me from all these things..these mountains that seem impossible to overcome..he saves me by his grace and loves me through every hardship. I mean someone who has conquered the grave..someone who died for me..and then rose again to love me and forgive me for the rest of my life..is not someone i can live without. And is definatleysomeone who can move mountains in my life....someone who no matter what is always there to guide me, who is always there to help me..always there to catch me if i am ever to fall. And sometimes in my life i know..i can feel like i am standing at the edge of the cliff...i have climbed this moutain only to find that its like i have no where else to run....i am at the edge with no where else to go. and beyond all these struggles and feeling like i have reached my end... God always reaches to catch me..to give me a way away from the edge...to save me from falling. And i have fallen....plenty in my life...and i will fall plenty more i am sure....but no mountain is too big...no struggle is to hard..no broken heart cannot be mended my the love that God puts in my life. and for that i am forever and always grateful.
just some thoughts<3
psalms 51 (read it this morning...all about asking Gods forgivness and having him forgive you whenever you are to mess up..i liked it lots!!)
-abbey<3

Heyy all
Wow, how to describe this weekend. Life changing would be an understatement. I really just wow... got hit with reality and really had some crazy close encounters with God. he really spoke to me this weekend, and just changed my heart all around you know? he...changed what i want...all the things i loved that really didnt matter.. suddenly dont have value anymore.....you know...all the things that i put in my life to fufill me suddenly left me empty..and it all got replaced with God and his crazy love for me. The whole theme of the weekend was Branded By God. You know when cows get branded? it leaves mark for all to see what farmer they belong too? Well they were tlaking about you know..how things in life can brand us..how we can get so side tracked with everything in the world...from friend and media..and clothes and how we look, talk what we listen to. So basically what they were saying was that the mark of all these things can overpower you life..you know..the world tells us that all these things make us cool..make us happy..but in the end these are the things that destroy our lifes...that leave us empty and un-happy. And thats why you need God..the only true thing that can fill that emptiness inside of you and make you whole..give you a purpose and a plan love and guidance in everything that you do. We should let ourslef have the makro f God, be branded by God in our lives to find that fullness. I dont know.....i sat there and listened to all this....watched this drama...sang the songs..worshiped God...and i just totally died to myself. Everything inside of me that was selfish..the things that i thought i needed or wanted...just died. And that all got replaced by the life and love that God pourred into me. I definatly walked out of the arena a different person...a better person..one who loves God with everything in me..and is never going to hide it..never going to doubt it....because it keeps me alive. He keeps me alive....and he is the only thing that ever will. This weekend has been really eye opening for me. And i think also i have realized that the things that mean the most to me.....the people i love most....may be the things i have to put on hold ......until i get my life back in order..until i am totally focussed on what i need to be focussed on. So that i dont end up hurting people again. I have the feeling that putting these things on hold is going to be one of the hardest things i have to do....but its not fair to them...to bring all this bagage into it. So ya not looking forward to that but i know God will help me through it...and in the end they will see that tis nto because i do not love them...because i do with all my heart. its that i need to make things right with myself...before i can move farther with other things in life.
keep me in your prayers this is going to be soo rough.
hebrews 12:1<3
-abbey

Heyy all.
Well i am sorry i havnt written in a few days. Life has been busy. School is going really well, math is still kind of iffy with me..wow my teacher makes noooo sense somtimes. But w/e i am getting there....umm other than that school is good i got like over 90 in all my classes its crazy best marks i have had in ..like ever lol. So ya i am happy about that. Done some thinking lately too...lots of thinking lots of prayer....thinking about where God wants my heart...not where i want it. Its hard sometimes...wanting to be so perfect..trying hard to mend things you know....build back trust..but then i get caught up in doing it by myself and thats when i screw up. It just goes to show that no matter how much i think i can do things on my own....i really cant. So ya its been a reality check this week for me...once again humbling myself down to that fact that i simply am not as strong as i think...and i need Gods help in everything. So i am kinda at the palce where i am taking baby steps in everything....getting back what i lost..what i wrecked..slowly but surely its coming along. Its like ive said a hundred times...gotta fall a bit before you fly. So i am falling...but slowly getting to flying little by little.
I am really tired too lately.. i think thats partly the problem as well...not taking the time to think things through.....either that or i cant think cause i am so tired lol I dont know...its a combination of everything..but i know i ccant handle any of it..whatever it is..without Gods help. So i am learning..growing...getting back on my feet.
I am off for now
lots of love
-abbey<3

Well, the countdown began a while ago but wow the days are flying by and i am only 13 days away from going to africa! Wow time is just flying by. But i CANNOT wait! i get to see jade....i get to go and have God like totally teach me....i mean he does that now..but i have the feeling going to africa is going to be a very eye opening experience. The only down side is being away from al lmy friends for two weeks...but ithink being in AFRICA!! will make up for some of that. i will still miss you all like crazy though wow...thats one part i am not looking forward too. But ya i absolutely cannot wait...lol its going to be such a great time. SO ya as for my day..whats going on in my life... its really not much. Today was sleeping in...i slept til 11:00 ..got some much needed sleep lol. then hung around talked with my family...cleaned..like majorly ..wow my house has never been this clean lol and then now i am about to go ..get ready cause i gots people coming over. So ya my day has been nothing special..life is really good. Nothing more i could ask for at this point. And theres really nothing to write about either so i am out!
bbye
-abbey<3

Hey all.
Well i have nothing much to say today. lol My day was ok..nothing special really...nothing really going on. Life is going good....i am soo tired and out of it though..i didnt feel like myself at all today. i seriously need sleep lol. But ya for matt whop aksed me where i get the ideas for my blog....i really dont know...just time spent thinking..things i see that get me thinking about life. and as for if i have things ineed to move to see the stars...well i can certainly say that i had some things..some big clouds hanging over my life...but i am glad to say that they have been moved...i am seeing the stars and i am loving it!!! God has really just flipped my life around......it feels good to see the stars.
-abbey<3

Hey there.
Well i got another little anology for you. lol i dont know why have so many ..maybe i think too much..who knows!?
So anyways i was thinking today while looking out the window, day dreaming in math. I was thinking about the tree i was starring at. A tree....quite a simple thing in itself i suppose. But i got thinking more about it...i mean this tree was getting pretty huge....and it amazed me how such a huge tree could come from such a small start. A simple little seed...planted...started to grow....it grew into a trunk..then came branches...you know the drill. This all got me thinking about how....we are kind of like trees. We start small...grow bigger....we start to have branches..different parts of our lifes streched into different areas......sometimes these things get cut off....sometimes they dont..and we grow even further into that area of life. How sometimes along the way we are accompanied but others..just as a birdmakes its home in a tree...so do people in our lives, they become a part of us.....that we carry with us. You know...sometimes our branches grow so far....we think wow could life get any better? And then we find we have stretched so far that something gets in the way. Something blocks our path...keeps us from going in the direction we want to go. But does that stop us? nah....we just start in another direction...and then when something happens to that... its off to start a new branch in a new direction...no road block is ever too big...life is always bigger.And finally when we get to the place where we are old and we have grown...and we look at all the branches of our lives...spreading in different directions....for some we wonder well why did i go there? or how did it get that far....and others we appreciate..we remember what we did...who we met....how we grew even further through that. My point is..that dont get to thinking that when something gets in your way that its over...look at it as well...a chance to start over... to grow into something bigger and better. Nothing is ever too big to get through...maybe its just we need to change the way we are going....change where we end up. Change the little things to get through life...growing..learning...loving and just stretching into all the possibilities that life offers us.
-abbey<3

Oh The Stars


Well, last night was just amazing in my eyes. You see every night before i go to sleep i look at the stars. I dont know why its something i have always done. And lately i havnt beena ble to see them, the rain clouds always seem to be in the way. But last night when i looked out my window there they were shinning brighter than ever. I dont know why but this made me smile. It just got me thinking you know...things can really get in the way sometimes. Just as these clouds were in the way of the stars, so are soo many things in my life.....they are just in the way of what really matters, in the way of what is truly beautiful. you know..whether i put it there of whether it just ends up there....things in life just tend to get in the way. And tehn when i loose sight of the things that made me happy..when i loose grip on the things i always thought i would hold on to the tightest thats when it hits me, thats when i start to realize that what i am putting first is not what really matters. But then i have that moment just like last night when i realize that...when i clear away all the things that dont matter...all the stupid little things that do nothing but hide the stuff that does...and then i see it..i get to look at the stars..i get to see how blessed i am....i get to see the endless possibilities, all the life that i have ahead of me..and all the people i get to go through it with. So maybe...sometimes you can feel helpless...like you are stuck in this big black exsistance....and you cant see the bright side...maybe you feel lost or held back..but maybe all you need is to take a look at whats hiding all that really matters. So next time you feel a little lost take a minutes to clear away whats hiding your stars.
-abbey<3

Hey everyone.
Well today was one of many things. One of mixed emotions for sure. It had its ups and downs but i came out on top. For many reasons, one because, i messd up again today but after all was aid and done.....and i talked to some people i was good. we all make mistakes we all forget things right? So ya talked to some people...one in particular got me smiling again which was nice. then it was off to my moms surprise party, she will be forty next week, we got her good it was funny. So overall my day ened up being pretty good. Bad things always have a way of turning themselves around. I think today was meant to show me that nothing is perfect and now matter how hard i try to make it that way..things go wrong and in the end you just gotta go with it..work things out and move on. Like i said..falling is how you learn to fly. Sometimes you gotta take the good with the bad. I mean i was tidying my room today and i came across my dads book. Its called Scars Dont Hurt. and i read the title and i really got thinking about how true it is. I mean scars, sure they are there you see them...they remind you of falls you have had....but thats all they are. They are memories.....they are the times that brought you to where you are...sure they hurt, sure they were cuts but in the end cuts heal, and are all but a simple reminder of how you stayed strong even when it hurt. Reminders of things we've done..things that have hurt us..hurt other people...reminders of some of the tough time..but in the end they are just scars....they dont hurt they are just stepping stones that got you to where you are. And you come to appreciate them....for what they are....
-abbey

Well i knoq that two blogs in one day officially qualifies me as a looser but i dont know i got some stuff going on in my head that i have to let out somewhere. My question is Love. What is it? can it be messured.....can it be distroyed....is it a matter of the heart or mind.....can it even me defined? You know sometimes my heart is so full that i cannot even describe how i feel, sometimes its all i can think about, its all i want to think about, its all that really matters. Then i have my moments, when i do things that wreck it. Which makes no sense to me, i have so many people in my life who love me and care about me yet i always seem to make the mistake of messing with it. Now i mean in my other blog i wrote..mistakes and troubles make you who you are, so i wouldnt trade any of this i guess....i think its more dealing with it once i have let it happen. I was thinking today about all this...all these things i have done....people i have hurt in the past.....i got really down on myself today..... i started beating myself up about all these mistakes all the problems i have caused, when one thought entered my mind. Forgiveness. Not only was i forgiven by Jesus because he died for me, but above all of that he loves me and forgives me every time i screw up. And i screw up alot. He loved me then and he loves me now the same. Its funny how i tend to take things on myself, knowing in my heart that i can possibley handle things by myself, and that i am bound to fall... i do it anyways. And sitting on my bed today thinking .....i really just discovered that love is trusting in the one who loves you and made you and who will always be there. Love is loving yourself, loving every part of you and never doubting it because God made you and he doesnt make mistakes. I found that love is seeing adn realizing that God is there with his arms wide open waiting for you to step in and let him help you. Cause in the end its not the thoughts of others, its not the marks you get, or the people you hang out with that will matter. Its living your life that God gave you..with the purpose he has set out for you. I got to thinking also that many people say...well i cant see God, how do i know he's helping me. Well i mean i breathe everyday.......and with every breath i take....i trust that there will be one to follow...i trust that there will be air there to breath ..breath after breath. I cannot see it....but i trust it.....because it keeps me alive. I cant see God......but i trust him because he gave and gives me life. God has also blessed me unbelievably in my life. I have the best family, a family who loves me...who believes in me and who i know will be there to the end. I have been blessed with the most amazing friends, I have gracie who is just....wow there isnt words..she amazing...she makes me laugh ...she crys with me...she smiles with me..she is just amazing. Remy wow remy can make me laugh no matter whats going on..but she is still there when you need her to just hug you. And larissa...well i could talk to that girl until the sun goes down and rises again she just gets me. And of course there's barrett. i told him once that there just isnt a word to describe him. He is just amazing and i dont know where i would be without him. There's my church.....wow i could not have asked for God to give me a better place to go to church....i am always surrounded by the most loving people its amazing. Then theres my town that i live in ......the house that i live in...the fact that i have food to eat every day. I mean i could go on for hours. In the end my point is....that love is trust. Trusting in God love, trusting in yourself, trusting in the things that you have been blessed with. Trusting that just like every breath is followed by another, that God is going to take care of me forever if i just let him.
-abbey

Just some thoughts.
Well today was one of alot of thinking. I was walking earlier today, when i turned into this little clearing in my neighborhood. I was walking around enjoying the beautiful day when something caught my eye. In between two big rocks at the edge the hill before the creek started was a little daisy. Simple in itself but completely beautiful under the circumstances. It got me thinking about how...in life...things all around us can seem so huge, so massive and so much bigger and better than us. Just as these rocks were in comparison to the daisy. But no matter the size of our problems, or our stress no matter the shadows these things can cast on our lives we have the strength to be completely beautiful. Life can be overwhelming, and the walls that surround us sometimes can seem unbearable but in the end if you stay strong, if you hold out and keep on being who you are knowing that that is the most important you can in the end over power the problems in your life. When i looked down i did not first see the rocks or roots that surround the daisy, i simply saw the daisy in all its simple beauty. That brought me also to think of the recent storms we have been having, how could a little daisy even still be alive in this cold?....mind you i figure by the looks of it, it was on its way out but never the less it was still there. This daisy had survived storms and was still there to make me smile on a simple afternoon walk. Now it got me thinking also of my own life...of all the things i struggle with, of all the stress, of all the "storms" that i have and have yet to face. And in that moment sitting looking at this little dying flower, i realized that it is not the problems in life.....its not the walls that are put up around you...its not the rocks that seem to be soo much bigger than you that matter. It is simply that you hold on...through all the storms, through all the times when you feel small and worthless, so that maybe in your exsistance you can be there to make someone smile. In the end these things make us who we are, these problems that we are faced with these things that i once felt and saw in my own life, these things i thought were put there to hold me down, i am now realizing are the things that help me fly. Everything in life takes perservearance. Sometimes you have to fall before you fly, but in the end its the falls that make you appreciate the flight.
-abey<3

Hey everyone!
well i am sorry that i havnt written in a while...its soo hard to find the time to write. But i am glad to report that life is pertty amazing right now. God is really just blowing my mind..he constantly teaches me things in the most unlikley situations. It blows my mind lol. This week has been really good. Got my mind in order, got my school work in order, friends are great family is great. i mean i cant really ask for more than i got right now. Actually thats not true. I would really like it to be warm lol But it doesnt look like i am going to get that lol. I just read my youth leader Matt's blog and i have to say once agai nhe blew my mind. He is just great, i have to say like he has a way of looking at things and finding things out of the most simple experiences. I feel really blessed to have him as my youth leader, i mean for however short i see or talk to him..once a week or so he still has such a great invfluence on my life just through the way he lives his. Needless to say i love haveing him as my youth leader! so heres a shout out too matty! God bless ya!!
all my love
-abbey

Hey everyone.
Well i dont remember if i actually posted something yesterday haha maybe i did who knows. Well so far my week and weekend have been pretty good. School is hard...lots of work but i am liking it. Friends are good, had some bumps and they are pretty much smoothed out..getting there. God is continuing to teach me in every way. Man he stretches me but i love it. lol I have never felt so alive......so happy so at peace with the way my life is....wow there just isnt words. And ATF is in a few weeks which is soo much fun i cannot wait...and tyesha is coming...which will be loads of fun. so ya my life is pretty good.....no complaints...no reoports nothing really happens lol. gotta fly
much love
-abbey<3

Hey all.
Well my day was ok, school was school nothing overly interesting. Did alot of thinking after school. cause iwas at the library in westdale til like 5:15 cause aq problem with my ride. Not about anything in particular just life. It was nice actually to sit and think about stuff...got some stuff sorted out in my brain...got some otehr stuff i got to still work on...but thats life i guess lol.i got God helping me through everything. i am getting there slowly. but i imagine that once i get over this bump there will be another one to test me, but meh i'll take them as they come. I know there's a reason for everything and that i'll come out of it all stronger than before so i guess perserverance is the key lol but thats life. so i am perservering ....holding strong with Gods help, i have no doubts that the stress will soon be gone. Gotta love how god teaches you eh? lol i think i just need some serious sleep. i am sooo tired. so i am off to have a nap lol love you all
-abbey<3

Hey all!
Well today was pretty general. but my weekend was pretty amazing. Not only has God totally re-arranged my life this week, but he has shown be how he is constantly there for me throughout this weekend. He has taught me soo much this weekend. I was teaching a lesson in nursery this morning. And i was teaching the kids about how God saved saul. Now for those of you who dont know..saul didnt belive in God..didnt love God and pushed God away. After a long involved story Saul came to belive in God, but when it came time to do what God told him Saul's friends turned against him and wanted him dead. So saul had to escape, never the less it was ahrd for him to escape but in the end God made a way for Saul to escape and come to saftey. Now thats the nursery version but there you go. but i was just thinking you know..saul was far from perfect...he did alot of bad things..just as i have...and God still loved him enough to save him. It just clicked with me cause thats what God did with me this week, you know...i was screwed up..i did some screwed up things but God still beyond all the crap i has done loved me enough to save me, and bring me to a better life. So i never thought i would get something out of a nursery lesson but God works in different ways. lol So ya it has definatly been a weekend of God showing me his love in little hints. But whatever i am not complaining whatever way God wants to work in my life he can go right ahead. So this weekend has been really reassuring for me. So ya i am sooo tired so i am going to bed. Bu until next time!!
-much loooove
-abbey<3