Hey all.

Well...i dont think i could be...well....more content right now. Well maybe if i didnt have a mountain of homework still to do tonight..that would make life a little better...but other than that i am very very happy. My thumbs are up..lol actually i just liked that picture..so i had to include it somehow lol.But anyways..i am happy because....not only is one of my friends getting baptized on sunday!!! yay! so exciting..i am so happy for her....but i have got my life so on track...i have never felt so good. You know.....God really has just really blown my mind. It really became clear to me this weekend. As much as this weekend has its ups and downs i have never felt so blessed. I was sitting in church on sunday...first of all i had soo much fun being back in canada and worshiping god..it was the funnest worhsip i have had in a while. So that was amazing..and then i sat and was listening to this guy speak...we had a guest speaker.....and he was talking about how things in your life can put chains on you....and nothing can undo those chains except the love and peace God puts in your life when you say..you know what...God i need you to come into my heart and guide my life...i need you to forgive all the stuff i have done..and just give me a new start...with you as the guidance in my life. And i mean..i asked God to come and be in my life when i was a kid...i have been a christian my whole life..but thats not to say that i have always stuck to that. I had a point in my life where...i was so far from God that i didnt even want to live.....in my messed up head..i thought you know what..not even God could love me now. And then.....something happened.....that to me at the time felt like the worst thing that could have happened...but looking back now it probably saved my life...i got caught. My parents found out the way i was living.....the things i had done....i had to go to my friends and be like...i totally betrayed you....i had to fix major problems in my life..and i had and am still having to build back major trust...but without that.....i dont know what i would have done. I was telling my friend the other day..we were talking about it...and i told her..that if i hadnt have gotten caught that day.....i dont really know what i might have done to myself. But by the grace of God.......and his love for me dispite all the sin in my life.....he stepped in and saved me. He forgave me and unlocked the chains that sin had put on my life. And i really...just sat down...listening to this guy and i totally felt everything fall away....i had been forgiven for the things i did by others..but i had not forgiven my self up until that point.....and i prayed..and i was like..right there....God...i need you to take this from me...its not something i can fight on my own and you need to take it and help me forgive myself for this....i want to love you full out..forever and ever...no chains..nothing holding me back. It was one of the most freeing sundays ever! lol I just feel so blessed..and thankful that God loved me that much ......and that i can live my life for only one purpose....him.

We sang this song on sunday too..and one line of the song was....

Your grace has found me just as i am...empty handed but alive in your hands. Without GOd..i have seen my life...and its horrible...its nothing...i am empty handed.....but with God and his grace....i am alive. But without him......i dont know where i would be.....it truly amazes me how empty i can feel without him. But i tell you one thing..i've been there...emptier than empty....and i am never going there again.

psalms 107:1<3

-abs