Heyy all
Wow, how to describe this weekend. Life changing would be an understatement. I really just wow... got hit with reality and really had some crazy close encounters with God. he really spoke to me this weekend, and just changed my heart all around you know? he...changed what i want...all the things i loved that really didnt matter.. suddenly dont have value anymore.....you know...all the things that i put in my life to fufill me suddenly left me empty..and it all got replaced with God and his crazy love for me. The whole theme of the weekend was Branded By God. You know when cows get branded? it leaves mark for all to see what farmer they belong too? Well they were tlaking about you know..how things in life can brand us..how we can get so side tracked with everything in the world...from friend and media..and clothes and how we look, talk what we listen to. So basically what they were saying was that the mark of all these things can overpower you life..you know..the world tells us that all these things make us cool..make us happy..but in the end these are the things that destroy our lifes...that leave us empty and un-happy. And thats why you need God..the only true thing that can fill that emptiness inside of you and make you whole..give you a purpose and a plan love and guidance in everything that you do. We should let ourslef have the makro f God, be branded by God in our lives to find that fullness. I dont know.....i sat there and listened to all this....watched this drama...sang the songs..worshiped God...and i just totally died to myself. Everything inside of me that was selfish..the things that i thought i needed or wanted...just died. And that all got replaced by the life and love that God pourred into me. I definatly walked out of the arena a different person...a better person..one who loves God with everything in me..and is never going to hide it..never going to doubt it....because it keeps me alive. He keeps me alive....and he is the only thing that ever will. This weekend has been really eye opening for me. And i think also i have realized that the things that mean the most to me.....the people i love most....may be the things i have to put on hold ......until i get my life back in order..until i am totally focussed on what i need to be focussed on. So that i dont end up hurting people again. I have the feeling that putting these things on hold is going to be one of the hardest things i have to do....but its not fair to them...to bring all this bagage into it. So ya not looking forward to that but i know God will help me through it...and in the end they will see that tis nto because i do not love them...because i do with all my heart. its that i need to make things right with myself...before i can move farther with other things in life.
keep me in your prayers this is going to be soo rough.
hebrews 12:1<3
-abbey